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We Haz Jazz Animated Series Toy Commercials
These are scripts for We Haz Jazz animated series toy commercials. Riffed Pants! Talking Dolls and Giftsets (This takes place at a sleepover where 4 girls are in their sleeping bags, from L to R: White Blonde girl in red bag Hispanic girl in green bag Black girl in blue bag Strawberry blonde white girl in purple bag) Male announcer from Swap n' Bop Spongebob's commercial: Introducing Riffed Pants Talking Dolls! Give them a press to hear humiliating phrases like this! (Blonde girl squeezes talking Abe) Abe: "Where's YOUR riffed pants? Everyone's wearing them now!" Hispanic Girl: I'm sorry I riffed them, but they're here. (We zoom in on her undies, the blonde boy laughs) Hispanic Girl: That isn't funny. Stop it. Blonde Girl: Okay, okay. Sorry for embarrassing you. Announcer: Or this! (Christina talks to a black girl trying to riff her pants.) Christina: You got stuck on the doorknob? What a hoot! (The black girl stuck on her bedroom doorknob screams and cringes, then she laughs off the embarrassing problem.) Black girl stuck on doorknob: Sorry, guys! That actually was not funny. Announcer: Or even this! (A blonde girl squeezes Susan. Susan makes a fart noise.) Susan: HEY, WHO FARTED? I THINK IT'S RIFF! Strawberry Blonde Girl: Oops! Sorry! It wasn't me! Announcer: You can even sing along to the "Riffed Pants" song! Blonde girl: If we don't give the giftsets as a gift... (The black girl squeezes Jessica.) Jessica and the girls: We'll all end up like the boy who riffed his pants! (We see alll the Riffed Pants dolls on the floor without the sleeping bags.) Announcer: Riffed Pants Dolls and Giftsets by Jakks Pacific! Each sold separately! The Fun Factor Deluxe Pull-My-Finger Farting Jazzidents The commercial stars puppets of a white brunette boy, a white girl with red hair (voiced by Kari Wahlgren), and an African-American boy with black hair. Narrator: Hey, We Haz Jazz fans! Do you love watching "Jazzident's Day"? Kids: Yeah! Narrator: Then you'll love these Deluxe Pull-My-Finger Jazzidents! Give them a can of soda (the brunette boy gives Riff his can of soda) and see what happens! Riff: Come on ova' and give ma finger a pull! Ya know ya wanna! Black boy: Okay! (Pulls finger) Riff: (FART) Dat 'haz' to hurt! (The puppets all laugh.) MAtthew: Do you wanna hear some "butt bass?" Just pull my finger! (The girl pulls Matthew's finger.) Matthew: What do you call this? (FAAAAAARRT/Fatback from Bacon Farts) A natural disaster! Hyah-hyah! (The boys laugh at Matthew. In another variant, the boys act out pulling Matt's finger, with the white boy playing the consumer and the black boy playing Matt, the "living doll.") Narrator: We Haz Jazz Deluxe Pull-My-Finger Jazzidents! Each sold separately. Only by The Fun Factor! Featuring the real voices of the lovely Debi Derryberry (her IMDB photo is seen) and Jeffrey Bennett (his IMDB photo is seen.) Deep-Voiced Announcer: To order, call 1-800-FUN-F-C-T-R! That's one eight-hundred Fun F-C-T-R! Or ask your parents to visit thefunfactor.us! Girl: (hugging Jazzidents Riff and Matt) I love USA, don't you? White Brunette Boy: Me too. Original Pull My Finger Jazzidents This commercial features a puppet of a blond boy. Boy puppet: I wish I could make the Jazzidents fart really loudly like they did online. Narrator: And now you can! Introducing the ORIGINAL Pull-my-Finger Jazzidents! Squeeze and pull Riff's finger to hear him spit out silly phrases such as... Riff: So help me, jazz gods! (We zoom in on him vibrating and farting.) Narrator: Squeeze and pull Matthew's finger to hear hilarious phrases such as... Matt: It's great to flatulate! (He is shown farting and vibrating as the boy puppet points and laughs.) Puppet: Just like in Jazzident's Day! Narrator: The ORIGINAL Pull-My-Finger Jazzidents! Each sold separately! Deep-voiced narrator: Available at Macy's, BaronBob.com and Speak to Me Catalog. Category:Scripts